Re-Education
by AdventEnlightenment
Summary: Sydney's worst fears become real when she's taken to re-education, but can she allow herself to succumb to their brainwashing techniques and forget everything she's come to believe? Can she allow them to take Adrian away from her? In the end, will she be strong enough? *Contains some spoilers from TIG. I disclaim.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

The problem with being locked in a room with no windows is that eventually you lose track of time. It's impossible to tell if it's day or night. It's impossible to keep track of how much time you've spent there. The only light offered were the harsh florescent bulbs shining brightly above me. It was ironic, really. I'd always believed humans were made for the light, but at that moment, I would've given anything for even a minute in darkness. Just long enough to pull myself together; just long enough to rest my eyes...  
The blaring sounded from the speakers hidden in the walls of the room, mimicking a siren, so loud that I jumped for what must've been the hundredth time - I'd lost count a long time ago. How long had I been here, again? The lights above flickered in time with the siren, promising that if sleep may come, it would only be restless.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to regain some composure; some clarity of mind. I blinked and tried to rub the soreness from my eyes, but to no avail. Surveying the room, I desperately hoped there was a way to escape, something I'd missed the last million times I'd looked before. Once again, I was disappointed. No window, one door, and a thin mat - which I was slouching on. The walls were stark white, the floors bright white tile. The light bounced off everything and made my eyes water. Every part of my body ached. I hadn't slept in what felt like days, I hadn't been given anything but small sips of water irregularly. I was so hungry I thought I could eat an entire restaurant out of business, and that was saying something.

The sirens cut off and the lights stopped flickering. I waited to see what would happen next. I just needed five minutes of silence. I just needed to be able to sleep; only for a minute. My eyes slowly slid shut and just as I began to drift away, the lights began to flicker and the siren began to wail. My eyes flew open, my heart pounding way too fast in my chest. Anger so extreme exploded through me, it was palpable. I could taste it, metallic on my tongue. I could smell it, like gas burning my nose. Tears ran down my face and I covered my ears.

"Stop it!" I screamed, "Stop it! Please, just stop it!"

As if anybody could hear me over the ear-splitting wail of the siren. Yet still I screamed. I screamed until my throat was raw; until I lost my voice. I screamed until colors blazed around me, intense pain erupting inside my head and finally, mercifully, the world around me went black. The last thing I felt before passing out was the coolness of the tile floor beneath my fevered cheek.

I opened my eyes to a darkness so black I almost thought my eyes were still closed. Pushing myself off the floor, I held my arms out wide, trying to feel for anything around me, but there was nothing, only the blackness.

"Hello?" I called out in a scratchy, pitiful voice.

"Sydney?" I whipped my head around, searching the darkness. "Sydney!" The voice called, sounding as if it came from a great distance away from me.

"Hello?" I said again, "Who's there?"

I squinted, straining my eyes, and finally saw something. A light so small I almost missed it appeared in front of me, growing larger as it drew nearer.

"Sydney?" Came the voice again, this time much closer. "Can you hear me?"

I knew that voice. It was the only voice that had ever made my heart flutter, and skip a beat.

"Adrian?" I whispered my voice cracking. My body shook with raw emotion as the light washed the darkness away and there in front of me was Adrian. I stared up at him, wondering if he'd ever looked so beautiful before. My eyes pooled and spilled over but I barely noticed.

"You're here." I breathed, "How are you here?"

I didn't need to find the strength to stand because he sank to his knees in front of me, staring at me with wide eyes. He raised a hand as if to touch me, but stopped half way, drawing back. His lip quivered and I could see moisture building in his eyes. He blinked it away, trying to remain manly, I supposed.

"What have they done to you, Sydney?" He whispered.

For the first time since waking up I remembered the situation I was in. No matter how bad it was for me, I never wanted Adrian to pity me; to blame himself. I really didn't want him to see me like this, for I'm sure if I looked half as bad as I felt, surely anyone who saw me would run away screaming. I looked down at my hands.

"It's not that bad." I lied. My voice cracked.

"Are you kidding?" He said, sounding astonished. He put his hand under my chin and gently forced me to look up at him. Shaking his head, he said, "Sydney would you like a mirror? You don't even look like yourself. You're paler than I am! You _look_ like you haven't slept in ages; I can't decide if your eyes are more red or more black. There are bruises under them. Have they even been feeding you? What the fuck is going on there, Sydney?" A single tear slid down his cheek before he had a chance to stop it. "I know you haven't been sleeping. I haven't been able to get to you until now. It's been four days! What are they doing to you?"

I was so overwhelmed and so, so tired, and I just couldn't grasp hold of everything that he'd said. In my desperate attempt to come up with an acceptable answer that wouldn't make him worry more, I ended up forgetting everything he'd said instead. My emotions welled up and overflowed like a breaking dam, and I began to sob; desperate, heart-broken sobs.

"I'm sorry." I cried, "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." And I was. I was sorry he'd ever met me. I was sorry he'd ever gotten to know me; appreciate me. I was sorry he'd ever fallen in love with me. I hated to put him through this pain. I could only repeat how truly sorry I was. He wrapped me in his arms, rocking gently and whispering things into my hair that I couldn't quite hear and couldn't quite make sense of. And like the dam breaking in my chest let loose the flood behind my eyes, so too did the clouds break above us and with a thunderous sound, the rain came down, drenching me. Without warning, I was ripped from Adrian's arms, pulled back through the darkness and into the waking world. Back beneath those florescent lights.

Only this time, something was different. For one, I was tied to a chair. Two, I was soaking wet. And three, I was no longer alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"Ms. Sage." I blinked, trying to focus on the man standing in front of me. In a better state of mind, I would've been able to focus on and remember every detail about this man, but all I could seem to notice was the white lab coat he was wearing. More white. As if there wasn't enough white in the room as it was.

"How good of you to join me." He said, as if I'd had a choice, "You were crying out in your sleep, you see. I thought it only right to wake you." He glanced behind him at the speakers in the walls. "I'm surprised you were able to sleep at all. It seems phase one has failed." He cleared his throat, and focused his attention on me once again. "Allow me to introduce myself, I am Doctor Thomas. I lead the Re-education program."

His words, though just an introduction, somehow seemed alarming. His features seemed to change; a dangerous gleam appearing in his eyes.

"Do you know why you are here, Ms. Sage?"

My heart pounded in my ears, but I didn't answer.

"It is in your best interest to answer any and all of my questions, Ms. Sage. You won't like it if I have to force them out of you." He threatened.

My palms began to sweat, and my wrists ached from the rope tied around them. My body began to shake, but still I refused to answer. I was too confused. I couldn't see straight. Was I even really awake or was this a nightmare?

"Last chance, Ms. Sage."

I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could, trying to collect my thoughts. My throat burned and my stomach felt sour.

"I don't know." I whispered. I could barely talk. My throat was raw. I needed water. "Please, I need water."

I didn't hear anything for a moment. When I opened my eyes, I saw Dr. Thomas walking toward the door. He knocked twice and I hoped it was code for 'bring food and drink'. I watched as two more men came in, one carrying a large metal bucket and a cloth, the other was empty handed. The guy sat the bucket down beside me and I noticed there was water in it. Thank God, I thought. I wasn't able to pay attention to much else, so I didn't notice when the two guys walked behind me. My eyes were on the water I so desperately needed.

"If it's water you want, Ms. Sage," said Dr. Thomas, "then water you shall have."

I focused on him just as he nodded to the two men, whom I finally noticed were behind me. I realized something about this was wrong, but it was already too late. The two men tipped my chair on its back; not gently, but not with force either. One man held my body still by straddling me and digging his knees and palms into each of my arms and shoulders. All I could think was how heavy he was. It felt like my arms were breaking. I cried out, but it was muffled by the cloth thrown over my face. It was laid out flat, and even in the pain I was in, and even with my muddled mind, I knew, I _knew_ what was coming next.

"No!" I croaked, trying to wiggle free, trying to shake the cloth from my face. The other man put, what I assumed were his hands, on either side of my face and held me still. My heart hammered in my chest and I swore I was going to have a heart attack. I heard the scrape of the bucket as Dr. Thomas lifted it from the floor and hastily tried to take a deep breath. I was too late. In a matter of a second the cloth was soaked and I ended up with a mouth full of water instead of oxygen. I tried spitting it out but more just replaced it. Water ran up my nose and into my throat, burning and making me cough. I felt it as the water entered my lungs, but it seemed the more I coughed, the worse it was. I was drowning, and there was nothing I could do about it.

When I thought for sure I was going to die, all the weight lifted off of me, the cloth was removed, and the chair was upright again. I coughed and gagged, trying to force the water from my body. Minutes passed, and I was finally able to catch my breath. My eyes were blurry with unshed tears and I was shaking uncontrollably.

"Why are you here, Ms. Sage?" Dr. Thomas asked, again. I now understood the meaning behind his threatening words. It truly was in my best interest to answer his questions. I knew that now. I just didn't know if I could bring myself to do so. Torture or not, I loved Adrian more than anything in this world, and I was never going to let these people take that from me. And if I had to die here to protect that...well then so be it. I felt stronger with that thought. My mind felt clearer then it had in days. I drew from that a quiet strength, and forgot how in normal circumstances, I'd never be so un-lady like. Raising my head defiantly, I gathered all the moisture in my mouth and spat on him. To my satisfaction, it landed on his chin, just below his mouth. Not where I was aiming at, but it'd have to do.

"You're a bastard." I said, surprised at the strength in my voice after what I'd been through. I watched as his jaw ticked several times and he tried to keep a calm demeanor. I knew I'd made him angry though. He nodded at the men again, and for all my bravado, I still couldn't help the fear that spread through my veins. Once more I was drowning on the cold tile floor. I tried to summon the memory of Adrian's lips on mine, the beautiful green of his eyes, the warmth of his hands on my skin, but the pain in my arms and the burn in my lungs kept me firmly locked in reality. I've never been more afraid then I was in that moment, and yet I could feel my heart beat slowing down. My arms went numb, and I no longer had the energy to struggle. A thick blanket of darkness enveloped my entire body and as I began to fade away, I said a silent goodbye to the only man I'd ever loved, because I knew without a doubt that I'd never see him again.

"Ms. Sage! Wake up. We aren't finished yet."

Opening my eyes had to have been the worst mistake of my life. It felt like there was sand covering every part of my eyes and it was a challenge to keep them open. Even with them open, I could barely see through the blurriness. I recognized Dr. Thomas' voice, and hated the sound of it.

"Ah, good. You're awake. It's about time." He sounded gruffer then he did before.

I tried to move my hands but both of my arms were completely numb. I glanced down and wasn't surprised to see the beginnings of large bruises the size of a man's knee appearing on my skin. Dr. Thomas stepped behind me and leaned down to talk quietly in my ear.

"You're not who you think you are, Ms. Sage." He started, "You're not comfortable around vampires. You're not in love with one of them. And you're certainly no Alchemist." He leaned forward, as if to get a better look at me. "What would your father think?" Shaking his head, he continued, "Such a disappointment." He leaned away and walked in front of me again. He pulled up a chair I hadn't noticed and sat face to face with me. I tried hard to keep my head up, but was without the strength to do so, instead staring down at my drenched clothing.

"Do you know how bad your choices were, Ms. Sage? Do you realize how great a sin you committed? Getting that close to vampires...it's completely foul." He said with disgust clear in his voice, "It's evil. They are evil, and by association, you are evil too. Do you like being evil? Would you like to be a vampire? Do you realize the position you've put your family in? Your own father might well disown you; you've disappointed him so much. Your mother and older sister are sick with worry. Your younger sister, what was her name?" He paused, recalling, "Ah, right. Zoe. Well, let's just say she is on a much better track then you've ever been. According to your record, you have a tendency to make bad decisions. I don't think you're fit to be an Alchemist."

I listened to him go on and on, the guilt filling me up and eating away at every choice I'd ever made. Was I really evil? Was my mother really worrying that badly about me? Did I deserve her worry? Was my dad really going to disown me? Did he hate me that much? I would deserve it...wouldn't I? How had I let this happen? How had I ended up here? Were my choices really so bad?

I felt something crack inside me then. Something that felt like an important piece of myself. It cracked and crumbled and broke away from my spirit, drifting away, and with it followed another piece, and another. I was losing myself, yet I felt completely numb to it. I was vaguely aware that I should be afraid, that I didn't want to lose myself, but the other voices in my head were so much louder. Yelling at me, making sure I knew how much of a screw up I was. Making sure I knew how I'd tainted my soul. Making sure I could see how evil I'd become. I tried not to listen. I shook my head in hopes that the voices would fall out of my ears and tumble to the floor where I could crush them beneath my feet. But they only got louder. I struggled to put my hands over my ears, but was still confined to the chair.

"No." I breathed, "No. No. No! No! No! Shut up! Just shut up!" I'm sure I was screaming, but I didn't care. I just wanted the voices to stop. I didn't want to lose who I was. I didn't want to be reformed, and re-educated. I didn't want to have my beliefs taken from me and molded into a shape the Alchemists approved of. And most of all, I did _not _want to forget about my love for Adrian. I didn't want to allow these people to leave a black mark on my memories of him. I didn't want to think of him with disgust and fear. He was not someone to be feared. He was someone to be loved, and I was _not_ going to give that up.

"I won't do it." I said, shaking my head violently, "I won't do it, and you can't make me." I raised my head, looking at Dr. Thomas in the eyes, "You can't make me forget."

Dr. Thomas looked at me as if he pitied me, and it made me want to spit on him again. He shook his head, sadly.

"Oh, Ms. Sage." He said in a feigned gentle voice, "I was hoping we wouldn't have to go to phase three with you, you being Jared's daughter, but it's clear now that we will have to."

He rose from the chair and walked to the door, exiting without looking back. I could barely hear the mumble of voices on the other side, but couldn't hear what was being said. A few moments passed, where I imagined what exactly phase three would consist of. A beating? A public execution to set an example? I realized later that I couldn't have been more wrong. The door opened again and the two men from before walked in. I let out a breath of relief when I saw no bucket and no cloth. Instead they carried an S shaped hook and more rope. I couldn't make sense of it.

One of the men untied me from the chair and I slumped forward, too exhausted to hold myself upright. The other man caught me before I fell off the chair, and in a surprisingly unexpected gesture, he cradled me gently in his arms. I would've been grateful, had he not been complicit in holding me in place while the other man retied my hands together and lifted them above my head, sliding them down over the hook that had been placed on one of the rafters in the ceiling. I was now hanging about a foot off the ground, and it was hard to breathe. Neither man said a word as they exited the room, taking both chairs with them.

I don't know how long I was hanging there, but my shoulders began to ache and my arms had gone numb all over again. My wrists were raw from the rope cutting into them, and I fought to catch every breath. At least it was quiet, I thought. That was my only mercy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

I wasn't sure how long I'd been hanging from the rafter, but my arms were shaking so badly that the rope around my wrists felt as if they were cutting through my skin. Sweat dripped down my face from the exertion it took to simply hang there. I tried to pull myself up, to loosen the tension in my wrists and shoulders, but it was impossible to pull myself high enough. My arms gave out and I dropped heavily back down.

The ropes seared into my skin and I was certain I bled now. The warm trickle running down my arms all but confirmed it. Imagining the way my flesh looked beneath the rope, all jagged cuts, red and raw, bleeding, I gagged and was sure I'd lose everything in my stomach, which conveniently happened to be nothing at all.

I heard noise in the hall and looked at the door. It opened and Dr. Thomas walked in with two men. I thought they were different men from before but couldn't be sure. Without wasting time, the men brought me down to the floor but kept me tied up. They put me on my feet and it was all I could do to keep standing.

"We are starting phase three now, Ms. Sage." Dr. Thomas said, "I hope you're prepared, though I'm sure you are, the way you fraternized with vampires daily before."

His words were ominous and there was a certain ring to them that I couldn't quite comprehend. What did he mean 'prepared'? He walked to the door, a smile on his face.

"Come now, follow me." He was sadistic, I realized, horrified. He liked doing this to people. For the first time I wondered what Keith had gone through in his time here. I thought it could have been a terrible experience, but I never imagined anything like this.  
One of the men nudged me forward and I stumbled and fell to the floor, hitting my knees with a sharp crack. Pain shot up my legs and I felt it reverberate in my hips.

"Pick her up." Dr. Thomas ordered.

Each man grabbed one arm and lifted me to my feet. They carried my weight as I was forced forward and out of the room. I couldn't seem to make my legs work so instead of helping me walk, they just dragged me along. My arms were like dead weights behind my back and now my legs didn't work either. I was completely useless to myself. The only bright point I had was finally seeing beyond my door. The walls were in complete contrast with the room I'd been in. They were darker, the lights more dim. The floor was still tile but darker in color. It seemed much more inviting then the room that had kept me captive until now.

I tried to keep count of how many steps the men took, how many doors we'd passed, rather or not we'd made a left or a right, but I was too shaken to manage to commit it to memory. Luck was not on my side anymore. This place seemed to suck it all away from you upon entry.

We stopped at a solid metal door with a thick glass window in it about the size of my forearm. I wasn't at an angle where I could see clearly inside, but I didn't need to be; I'd found out soon enough. Dr. Thomas looked through the window, seemed satisfied and produced a key from his lab coat pocket, unlocking the door. The hinges squeaked as he pushed it open. The two men wasted no time in dragging me through. My ropes were cut and my arms fell limply to my sides. I was placed on another mat and that was that. The men left, the door was shut and the lock clicked back into place.

I took a moment to look around. Another white room. The lights were even brighter here. I sat up against the wall, the door to my right, what appeared to be an observation window spanning the wall directly in front of me, and a cell like cage to my left. I did a double take and my blood turned to ice as I realized what I was looking at.

He was of average height, so he must have been human before he was turned into a Strigoi. I wondered vaguely how he'd ended up here. His eyes ringed in red and he bared his teeth at me. We stared at each other for a moment, his nose twitching. He looked down at my wrists and too late I remembered the blood. Like a starving beast, he ran forward and threw himself at the bars of his cage, growling ferociously. I was glad he was locked in and I was locked out. I took some comfort from the fact that vampires didn't like the taste of Alchemist blood. My joy was short lived, however, as Dr. Thomas re-entered the room, holding a syringe. I was surprised when he walked right toward me, held the needle to my cheek and injected the serum into my tattoo. I didn't bother fighting, I didn't have the strength. He left as quickly as he'd come and a moment later I heard his voice through a speaker.

"Welcome to phase three, Ms. Sage. You must be wondering what I just injected you with. That serum will break the magic in the tattoo, ensuring your blood is no different than a normal humans blood would be. The vampire to your left hasn't fed today so I'm sure he is hungry."

"So you'd feed me to him?" I asked, incredulous. I couldn't believe this. They broke my tattoo for the sole purpose of feeding me to a vampire. Did they plan to kill me like this? Did phase three mean death?

"Vampires are evil, vile killers. This serves as a reminder to you." Dr. Thomas said, the disgust clear in his voice. My pulse sped up as a short, loud buzz sounded from somewhere and the thick metal bars slid away from their locks; the door of the cage slowly swinging open. I held my breath and stared at the Strigoi as he pushed through the gate, a sickening smile on his lips. I couldn't even fight for my own life.

"Stay back." I demanded. He cocked his head to the side, his smile growing, and without warning he flew at me with a speed I thought impossible. He was on me in a flash and I was thrown back down onto the mat.

"No!" I screamed, trying to push him away from me; my arms barely registered the command. His teeth were buried in my throat before I could blink and I cried out at the pain. I felt disgusting and defiled as my blood was greedily taken into his mouth. I could hear the slurping in my ears and it made me sick. I continued to struggle beneath him and he pulled away, anger on his face.

Raising his arm he back-handed me and sunk his teeth into the other side of my throat. All I heard now was a loud ringing in my ears. My vision blurred and my head began to ache. Then suddenly it all disappeared as a new feeling came over me. Euphoria I'd never before experienced. My entire body was filled with numb warmth, all the pain slipping away from me in fast and continuous waves. The blackness that was becoming familiar washed over me and I floated away.

By the time the Strigoi was locked safely back inside his cage, it had been hours of off and on feeding. I knew I was too weak by then to even move, but I couldn't seem to care. The high was still moving through my veins. Some of my happiness evaporated when the door opened and in walked Dr. Thomas

.  
He sneered at me, "I see you're enjoying yourself."

I didn't reply. I knew deep down how disturbingly wrong this was, but I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of knowing I felt it. A woman walked in behind him carrying a cooler. I blinked drowsily.

"This is Dr. Walker," Dr. Thomas explained, "She's going to give you a transfusion before we start round two of phase three."  
A sense of dread filled me, swallowing up the euphoria entirely.

"Round two?" I choked.

He smiled evilly, "Yes, Ms. Sage, round two."

Waves of disgust rolled over me, souring my stomach. I leaned to the side as I gagged and heaved but nothing came up. Dr. Walker gave me a moment before laying me gently on the mat. She grabbed a short tube - attached to a needle - and some tape in her gloved hands. She wiped a small area of my arm with an alcohol swab before sticking the needle in my vein.

"Little sting." She warned.

The other end of the tube, she hooked to a large bag of blood she'd pulled from the cooler. Both doctors stayed there until every last drop of blood was emptied into my body. I felt better than I had in a while and my stomach growled loudly.

"You must be hungry." Dr. Thomas said, stating the obvious. He opened the door and wheeled in a cart with a tray on top of it. I spotted a bottle of water and a bowl. My mouth watered. He placed the tray in front of me and I peered into the bowl – it contained some sort of soup – then he dropped a plastic spoon down onto the tray. I reached for the water bottle and drank it greedily.

"Slow down or you'll be sick." Dr. Walker warned. I realized she was right and forced myself to slow down. I moved on to the soup, abandoning the spoon somewhere beside me and slurped straight from the bowl itself. My stomach clenched but I kept sipping slowly. When I finished the soup I drank another sip of water and looked up at the doctors, waiting for whatever came next. Dr. Walker removed the IV in my arm, and Dr. Thomas removed the tray and the cart from the room. I was sad to see it go. I felt a strength returning to my body though, and was grateful for that.

"Prepare yourself for round two, Ms. Sage." Dr. Thomas said as he and Dr. Walker left the room.

I stood up and pressed my back against the wall as the locks from the cage released and the door sprung open once again. I racked my brain for a way out of this; any way out. The vampire took his time now, slowly walking toward me. I backed into a corner and glanced around the room.

"Stay away from me." I said, "Don't take another step you disgusting creature, I'm warning you." It was an idle threat and we both knew it. He got a livid gleam in his eyes – I guessed it was due to the insult - and started to charge. It was in that moment of panic I realized what to do. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it sooner, not that I'd had enough energy until now anyway. Without further delay I raised my hand toward him, said the incantation and released the magic that welled up inside me.

Just as I'd done to Alicia, I'd thrown the Strigoi across the room. He flew into the observation window with a sickening crack. I quickly looked around the room again, adrenaline coursing through me and giving me more strength. Seeing the plastic spoon I'd carelessly discarded before, I devised a quick plan. I didn't know if it would even work but I snatched it up, broke the tip off and ran toward the Strigoi. I used the same cast on him once more and he flew into the window again. He slumped to the floor and I was on top of him, plunging the jagged edges of the spoon into his chest. I felt it snap and break again and was afraid I'd failed until he gasped and the light faded from his eyes.

Suddenly the door flew open and before I could react two men were on me and Dr. Thomas was stabbing a needle into my arm. My vision slowly blurred around the edges, until everything around me went black.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I felt myself being gently pulled; into another world, another life; pulled into somebody else's dreams. I was well enough at the moment to recognize it as a spirit dream. The world came into focus around me and I was pleasantly surprised to see I was in Adrian's bedroom.

"Sydney," Adrian said, breathless, "Finally."

I turned around to face him with a genuine smile on my face. I was really happy to see him. He started toward me but stopped mid-stride, a look of horror plastered on his handsome face.

"Who…" He choked, "Who did that to you?" He was looking at my neck; my wrists; my face. I lifted a hand to my throat, feeling the dried blood there. I caught sight of my wrist as I glanced down. It was raw and chafed, cut jaggedly as I'd thought it would be. My shirt was caked with dried blood, and wrinkled beyond help, as were my pants. I wondered how my hair must look. I sighed.

"I hate that you're seeing me this way." I said. His worry marred the joy I felt at seeing him.

"Sydney, I have to know what's going on in there. You wouldn't tell me the whole truth just so you could spare my feelings. I know you." He said, sounding frustrated and desperate at the same time, "This is the only way to know; by seeing you as you are with my own eyes."

"Does it bother you?" I asked quietly, "Seeing me this way?"

He closed the distance between us and took me in his arms.

"Of course it bothers me. I can't stand seeing you hurt; wishing it could be me instead of you."

"Please don't feel that way." I begged, "They hurt me because I defy them. I won't let them break me. I won't let them take you away from me, even if it's the last thing I ever do. I won't let them brainwash me into forgetting what I believe in."

I clung to him, wishing I didn't have to say what I was thinking, but I knew I needed to be honest.

"I imagine it'll only get worse from now on. They saw me use magic, but for good reason. No way was I going to let that vampire bite me again."

I felt him stiffen beneath me. "What vampire?" He ground out.

Shrugging, I said, "Some Strigoi they have locked up. They called it phase three. They use him for when the first two phases don't work."

He'd gone completely rigid now. "They let a Strigoi near you? They let him _bite_ you? You could've been killed!"

I shrugged again. I knew that all too well. "I stabbed him with a plastic spoon." I offered.

He released his breath on a weary laugh. "Of course you did, Sage. Always doing the impossible."

He pulled back and cupped my face, rubbing his thumb gently over the tender part of my cheek where the Strigoi had hit me. It had to be a nasty looking bruise.

"I'm getting you out of there, Sage. We all are. Just hold on a little longer."

He sounded desperate and I wanted to believe him but I just couldn't see how he could burst into a secure Alchemist facility and bust me out. I smiled anyway, trying to be strong for him.

"Okay." I agreed, "So what's your plan then?"

"It was easier to come up with then I thought it'd be." He said, looking thoughtful, "Actually, Jackie helped a lot."

"Ms. Terwilliger?" I asked, surprised.

He nodded and went on to explain how they planned to break me out. Ms. Terwilliger, with the help of her coven, would use magic and spells. Adrian would use his Spirit abilities and they'd even enlisted the help of Rose Hathaway and – shockingly – her father, Abe Mazur. Those last two made me nervous. If I knew anything of the two, there may be damage involved. Maybe an explosion of some sort. It also made me nervous for another reason. A more pressing reason. With the Alchemists and vampires trying to mend the gap between them, the Alchemists might see Rose and Abe's involvement as a direct slap in the face; an insult even. And with Rose working so closely with the Queen, it could cause an even greater rift than ever before between the two groups.

"I don't know that it's a good idea involving Rose and Abe." I said, voicing my concerns, "Even you being involved is a bad idea. What will it mean for the Moroi and Alchemist relationship?"

"You think I care about any of that?" Adrian asked, raising his perfect eye brows, "All I care about is getting you the hell out of there safely. The rest can be dealt with when the time comes."

I wasn't convinced. "Just please run it by Rose. Think about it, okay? What about Queen Vasilisa? Think of the position it could put her in."

He faltered, but it still wasn't enough to change his mind, I knew.

"You never stop amazing me, Sydney. Always looking out for other people; even now when you need someone to look out for _you_ more than ever before." He sighed, but agreed, "I'll run it by Rose; she can talk to Lissa. But there's nothing you can say or do to change my mind about being part of the rescue team, Sage." He grinned, looking devilishly handsome, "Besides, who better than me to be the knight in shining armor who rescues you from your tower in the sky?"

"I've really missed you." I said, smiling.

We talked more about meaningless things, just enjoying one another's company. I finally convinced him to change my appearance to one more suitable and less disgusting, and he agreed under once condition: I must comply with full disclosure upon every visit we'd have from here on out. I promised immediately.

"Are they finally letting you sleep?" He asked, "You've been here a while."

"I think they sedated me after I stabbed that Strigoi."

"I'd much rather have you here anyway." He whispered in my ear.

I stared up into his green eyes, wishing I could stay in his arms forever. An overwhelming urge to kiss him burned through me and I threw my arms around his neck, putting my lips to his, kissing him feverishly. I felt everything in that kiss; his love, his fear, his anger, his compassion. It grounded me and reminded me why I had to keep fighting for him – for us. It gave me strength and for the first time I believed that maybe,_ just maybe_, I could come out on top of this.

"I love you, Sydney."

I didn't know what the Alchemists had planned for me when I awoke, but if I knew anything at all, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved Adrian more than anything.

"I love you too." I whispered, "So much."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

I woke up feeling groggy, but was immediately aware that I wasn't alone. I felt the beginning of a headache and closed my eyes to the bright light in the room. I was lying on a bed similar to one you'd find in a hospital and I realized my hands were strapped firmly in place as if I were a mental patient. I felt vulnerable.

I sniffed and looked at the occupied chair beside my bed – and nearly jumped out of my skin. A chill passed over me and I swallowed loudly.

"Dad," I choked out.

He didn't look at me, instead keeping his attention focused on the floor. I waited patiently, wondering why he was here. Why he'd taken the time to come visit me. Did he come to gloat? To berate me? To make me aware that he had indeed disowned me? I felt my eyes burn as I waited for him to speak. Despite everything, despite the way he'd always treated me, I was afraid of what he'd say. I was afraid of losing him. He was my father after all, and he loved me – I hoped - even if he had a bizarre way of showing it.

"Sydney," He finally said, looking up at me. I was shocked at the dark circles under his eyes. He'd always been the epitome of neat and proper, never having a hair out of place, never looking as if he hadn't gotten enough sleep the night before. His current state was anything but. His hair, while still neat, seemed as if it had been run through several times with his hands. He face was pale and he looked sickly.

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger.

"Where did I go so wrong?" He asked quietly. I assumed it was rhetorical and remained silent.

"Why did you do it, Sydney?" He looked at me, his eyes held no contempt, no anger, only confusion and..pain. "How did you end up here?"

I was so shocked I couldn't answer right away. The man sitting next to me couldn't be my father. _My_ father had never been so concerned about me. My father had never shown any worry over me before. This was a strange turn of events and I wondered exactly where he'd been hiding this side of him.

Had he walked into this room and ranted and castigated me as he certainly would have done so under any other circumstance, I could have let lie after lie slip past my lips with ease. But the man before me seemed so lost and confused, desperate for answers. I felt compelled to tell the truth.

So I took a deep breath and started at the beginning. It was so surreal telling my father about all of this. Everything I'd gone through these past months. I watched his reactions as I told him about becoming more comfortable around the Moroi and dhampirs; friendly even. I watched as I expressed my feelings for Adrian Ivashkov, my protectiveness of Jill, and my compassion for the dhampirs that served as her guardians. I explained how I'd come to have these feelings, how I learned that they weren't monsters, they weren't evil. They were no different from us, in fact, aside from needing blood to survive.

"I spent so much time around them that I was forced to get to know them." I said, my words rushed now, "And I don't regret that for even a second." I paused, letting my words sink in. "Being in this place doesn't change that, dad. They can do whatever they want to me, they can torture me, they can abuse me, and it still won't change the way I feel."

I leaned toward him, trying to get closer, wanting so badly to make him see how wrong the Alchemists were.

"I know the truth, dad. I've seen it with my own eyes. I had to watch these people _every day_. They aren't who we are made to believe they are. They are decent, and kind and caring, and not once have I ever seen them do something that could be called evil. They are _good_, and they shouldn't be treated like some vicious beasts simply because of their genetic makeup."

I felt tears spring to my eyes, thinking of the people I'd grown to care so much for. My father just stared at me for a moment, quiet, contemplating. I could see the battle waging within him. I understood; I'd been there. Going against the very things you'd been taught your entire life was no easy feat, and yet here he was, trying to understand me. I didn't mention anything about my use of magic, and if he knew, he gave no sign that he did; I assumed he didn't want to broach that subject any more then I wanted to share it with him. I didn't expect him to accept what I was telling him, and was only slightly surprised when he nodded and stood.

"Maybe you're right, Sydney, and maybe you're wrong. This organization has been around a lot longer than you or I have, and they've come to have these beliefs for a reason. Maybe your feelings are genuine, or maybe you've just spent too much time around them that you felt isolated and clung to them for your own comfort." He paused, glancing at the door, "Either way, it doesn't matter. You are here now, rather we like it or not, and the only thing you can do is be patient and be willing to learn what Dr. Thomas has to teach you."

There was a noise from outside the room and my father stepped closer to me, taking my hand and leaning down to whisper in my ear.

"Help yourself, Sydney." He said quietly, ensuring it was only I who heard him, "Play along if you have to, just do what you have to do to get out of this place."

They were words I never in a million years thought I'd hear from the lips of Jared Sage, all-around revered, and highly respected Alchemist. Could it be that he had a special place in his heart for me after all? He pulled back, squeezed my hand once, and let go, stepping away from me and taking that sweet moment of warmth with him.

Clearing his throat, he said, "I must go. I have a busy day." He gave me a stern look as Dr. Thomas entered the room; one I recognized well.

"You listen to the doctor, Sydney, and you listen well," he said, hardening his voice, "I don't want to have to come back here."

And with those words, he walked out of the room without looking back. A small sob escaped my lips as I watched him fade out of sight. His harsh words and constant barbs had always hurt me just a little, but compared to that, what I felt now was on a totally different level. He'd been so caring, so _father-like_, and it hurt so much to see him walk away that I almost called out for him to come back. It was crazy how his kind words could somehow hurt worse than the words he'd so often used to put me down. But they hurt in a different way. Instead of a feeling of neglect or abandonment, I felt a loss that ran deep in my bones. It was all I could do to keep from crying.

The 'good doctor' noticed my suffering and seemed to take satisfaction in it.

"I told you, Ms. Sage, you've disappointed everyone. You've truly disgraced that poor man." He said, not knowing how wrong he was. I may have disgraced him, I may have disappointed him, but he cared about me, and that was all that mattered.

Dr. Thomas leaned over me, getting right in my face as if to make sure his message were clear. I had to restrain myself from head butting him or something equally painful.

"I will break you, Ms. Sage. I have yet to fail in re-educating a wayward alchemist, and I won't fail with you. I will use every tool at my disposal if I have to, to mold you into the ideal alchemist. By the time you leave here, I will have reformed you and you will walk out the front doors as _whoever_ I want you to be."

If that had been the first sentence out of his mouth upon meeting him, it would have frightened me, but now, after experiencing the 'tools' he'd used so far, I was less afraid of what might come next. That didn't stop me from wondering, though, and worrying a little bit. I certainly didn't want to end up back in the same room with the Strigoi.

I stared at him blankly and cleared my throat.

"Why am I strapped to the bed?" I asked.

He laughed as if it were obvious. "I saw what you did to that Strigoi; you wielded magic." He said, disgusted and, I thought, a little scared as well.

"And you thought keeping my hands tied to a bed would prevent me from using magic again?" I asked.

He glanced at my hands suspiciously, but didn't say anything.

Clearing his throat, he stepped away from me and took up post by the door, probably in case he needed to make a quick exit should I decide to use my magic on him. I thought it was laughable.

"We will begin phase four shortly." He said, regaining his composure, "I'm sure you've noticed that each new phase is worse than the phase before, and I assure you that still stands." He was trying to get under my skin, to scare me.

"What's to keep me from using magic to stop you?" I asked him, trying to get under _his_ skin.

He surprised me with something as simple as deductive reasoning. "You didn't use it when you were too weak to do anything but sit there, however once you were fed and regained some strength, you were able to. I can only assume that if you don't have the strength to use your _magic_," he spat the word, "then it won't be a problem."

I read between the lines, knowing he meant that for the remainder of my time here, or until I showed progress, I would remain in a state of weakness. That meant no food, little water, and more abuse. What had my dad said, 'play along'? Could I do that? Could I play along? Even that somehow felt wrong to me. Maybe it was because I was stubborn, but I just couldn't give these people the satisfaction of believing they'd accomplished something with me.

Adrian had said to hold on, just a while longer. I still wasn't sure rather or not they'd get to me, but I had faith in him. I'd hold out for him rather or not he came to my rescue. I schooled my features into a bored look and faked a yawn.

"If that's what you believe." I said, giving nothing away. Rather he took heed of my words or not, I didn't know. He signaled to a woman passing by. She stopped and I recognized Dr. Walker. He spoke to her in hushed words and she came in, walking up to me. She fumbled around in a drawer in a shelf next to the bed and produced another needle.

"What's that?" I asked.

"A mild sedative." She said, and stuck me with it.

I was even groggier now, viewing the world as if I were in a fish bowl. I didn't pass out, but I couldn't move if I'd tried; my whole body felt heavy. Like I was the world's largest paper weight or book end. I would've laughed if I wasn't being dragged out of the bed and carried to some new and unknown location. I peeked at the large guy carrying me. Some new henchman of Dr. Thomas'. It was weird, really. These men helped a man to do some awful things, but when it came to carrying me, they'd cradled me gently against them.

I wanted to ask him why. Why be gentle when he knew the kinds of things Dr. Thomas was planning to do to me anyway. Did it make them feel better about being an accomplice to this twisted stuff? I looked down and away from him, noticing with surprise that I was no longer wearing my bloodied clothing. My wrists had been bandaged, making me look like I was indeed a mental patient, one who'd tried to take her own life by slashing at her wrists. At least my clothes were clean. Though I had a feeling they wouldn't stay that way very long.

We came to a stop outside of a door and I was disheartened to see it was the first room I'd been in. I was put down onto a cold, flat surface. It reminded me of the metal slabs you'd find a dead body on in a morgue. My wrists were bound on either side of me again. I gasped as the strap tightened around my bandaged cuts, pain shooting up my arms. My ankles were strapped down next, ensuring I wasn't going anywhere.

My jaw was forced apart and a rubber mouth guard was shoved inside. I began to truly panic when the next straps to hold me down went across my shoulders and forehead. My panic counteracted the sedative I'd been given and I tried to spit the mouth guard out. A convenient piece of tape came down over my lips, and I tried pulling at the straps around my arms instead. I felt my cuts opening more and felt blood soaking into the bandages, but I didn't care. I just knew I had to get off of that table.

"Stop struggling, Ms. Sage." Dr. Thomas said, "You're only making it harder on yourself."

I looked at him, wide-eyed, my breathing heavy and fast. I tried using magic but was still too groggy to do much of anything. I couldn't talk to say an incantation anyway.

Wheels rolled across the floor and from the corner of my eye I saw an ancient looking machine. There were gauges, knobs and an input. Knowing as much as I do, I knew immediately what I was looking at. And the doctor was right; this was worse than phases one through three put together. I could potentially lose everything I am if I let him touch me with that machine. The ECT machine was originally designed to help people suffering from mental illnesses and depression. It wasn't long before people twisted the idea and used any form of electric shock as a method of torture. The worse part though, was that the electric shock could cause amnesia, even wiping whole memories away as if they'd never even existed to begin with.

The times I'd had with Adrian were some of my most recent memories, and I was afraid that if I did end up losing anything, it'd be those that were freshest in my mind.

My breathing became shallow as Dr. Thomas turned on the machine, amped it up, and moved the paddles toward my head. He paused for only a moment, just long enough to look into my eyes, and the next thing I felt was a series of spasms throughout my entire body. My muscles convulsed and I wanted to scream in pain. The seizure lasted only until Dr. Thomas removed the paddles, but my body still shook of its own accord.

I summoned Adrian's face in my memory and was so relieved that I could've cried when I found the memory perfectly intact.

My joy was short-lived, as Dr. Thomas pressed the paddles to my head again. I seized and convulsed and groaned low in my throat because it was all I could manage. My eyes were squeezed tightly against the pain and a tear slid through the crack, rolling down my cheek and into my ear.

"You can stop all of this right now, Ms. Sage." Dr. Thomas said, though it was hard to follow him, "You can choose the side of _good_, Ms. Sage." He removed the paddles, and I laid there staring at the ceiling, random spasms running through my body. Leaning over me, he forced me to look at him. "Vampires are bad, Sydney," He said in a soothing voice, using my first name for the first time, "You _must_ rid yourself of them; you must wash away the unclean feelings you have for them. Once you've accomplished that, you can be good again." It almost sounded as if he were begging me.

I thought a moment, drawing up Adrian's face again. Only this time, the color of his eyes seemed muted, his face blurred around the edges. I tried desperately to restore it, but just as I thought I'd caught the full image, it would slip away from me completely. I cried out in frustration, muffled by the mouth guard and tape. My tears flowed freely now as my fear of losing Adrian slowly came true. I was losing him. I'd fought so hard and now I was going to lose him for good.

Dr. Thomas must have mistaken my tears for an accomplishment on his part instead of what they were: a failure on mine. He gently wiped a tear from my cheek.

"It'll be okay. I will make this all go away." He said. He thought he was finally getting through to me. "You will be out of here in no time, Sydney."

Everything seemed to slow down. His words sounded as if I were under water. His movements were sluggish as he brought the paddles back toward me again. One final time. One more time, and I would have nothing; I would be nothing. I closed my eyes and readied myself, feeling the warmth of a tear as it slid slowly down my cheek.

_Adrian…Please forgive me._


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Hey everyone! Hope no one minded too much that I wrote Sydney's father in as a decent guy in the last chapter. It surprised even me, as I hadn't originally intended to do so, but I'm glad I did, because it worked out well. Also, there is still hope for Sydney! Read this chapter to find out what happens next. Enjoy! :)_

**Chapter Six**

I closed my eyes and waited for the end. And waited, and waited some more, but nothing came. No seizures overtook my body, no pain engulfed me. Opening my eyes, I looked up at Dr. Thomas. He stood overhead staring down at me, a paddle in each hand and arms half out-stretched toward me. But it was like he'd been frozen in place; as if time had stopped and everything had stopped with it. But…that didn't make sense. I blinked and wiggled my fingers and toes. I obviously wasn't 'frozen' as well, but why?

The only thing that made any sense was…magic. And powerful magic at that. I attempted screaming for help only to remember my mouth was full of rubber. I pulled on the restraints as hard as I could but they wouldn't give. I paused and thought a moment. I couldn't break the restraints but maybe I could slip out of them. I twisted and turned my wrist, flexing and relaxing my hand and slowly worked it through the strap. As gross as it was, my blood worked as lubricant and I finally slipped free.

One down, five to go, I thought. But first I removed the tape and mouth guard. Reaching up I fumbled with the strap around my head and once undone, moved to the strap around my shoulders. When I was able to sit up, it took no time at all to undo the other three restraints; aside from having to work with shaky hands and bloody fingers.

I glanced at Dr. Thomas again, assuring myself he was still unmoving, and cautiously stepped down off the table. I searched the doctor's pockets for anything that might be useful. Keys; useful. Keycard; useful. A lighter, a tin can of mints, a tube of chap stick and a ball point pen; probably not so useful. I left those behind.

On shaky legs I slowly made my way out of the room, leaving the doctor and his toys behind. I had no idea how far I'd get or if I'd even make it out of the building, but I _had_ to try. I made a right outside the door and used the wall as support. The further I walked the wearier I became. Random shapes and patterns flashed in my eyes and my head had begun to pound. Dizziness, like a head rush, swept over me and I stumbled.

Thinking of Adrian, I picked myself up off the floor. I came to the end of the hall and was forced to make either a left or a right. Right looked like a dead end, and left seemed to go on forever. I went left and was all but leaning against the wall now as I walked. The floor seemed to move beneath my feet and I thought I might pass out.

I heard a large number of footsteps around a corner ahead of me and my heart dropped into my stomach. I'd failed. They'd catch me and drag me back to Dr. Thomas and his torture devices. I slumped, defeated, against the wall and slid to the floor just as the group rounded the corner and rushed toward me. Turning my head to get a look at my captors, I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me when I spotted Adrian at the front, running toward me.

I was vaguely aware of Ms. Terwilliger right behind him and people I didn't recognize followed after. The last thing I saw before passing out was Adrian's beautiful face, his hand reaching out to me.

When I regained consciousness I found myself lying on a bed in what appeared to be a motel room. I sat up quickly and looked around, confused. Where was I? How did I get here? There was a single bed, a shabby looking dresser and an old tube TV that sat atop it. There was a night stand beside the bed with a lamp on top of it. The light was on but it was dim. A mini-fridge sat beside the night stand. The room was small, with one window and a door, side by side. Another door was on the opposite side of the room, probably leading to the bathroom.

I climbed out of the bed and walked to the window, peeking through the curtains. Wherever I was, it looked like it was in the middle of nowhere. Two cars were in the parking lot; one close the door of the room I was in, the other was on the other side of the lot. The bathroom door opened behind me and I spun around. Adrian stepped out and stopped when he saw me.

For a long moment he just stared at me.

"Adrian." I breathed, reaching out to him.

He blinked and was across the room in three strides, pulling me into his arms.

"God, Sydney." He murmured, holding me tightly, "I was so afraid."

"Afraid?"

He pulled back and looked at me, his eye brows drawing together. "I thought I'd never find you. Jackie sensed your magic, but she kept saying it was weak and hard to follow. I thought I'd lose you. I thought I _lost_ you." He shook his head, "And then I turned a corner and there you were. You looked…like you were dying." He finished on a whisper, as if afraid to say the words too loudly.

"I don't think I was dying, just…really weak."

He brushed his fingertips over a sore spot on my head and I flinched.

"How did you get that?" He asked, "There's one on both sides. Like burn marks."

I cleared my throat, ready to tell him the cold hard truth when my stomach growled. Loudly. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until then. I was starving. And so thirsty.

"Here, sit down." Adrian said, sitting me on the bed, "There's food."

'Food' consisted of mostly convenient store junk that must have been bought in a hurry. Pre-made wrapped sandwiches, bags of cookies and chips, miniature pies, a bunch of bananas, and set off to the side was a small package of bottled water.

"Sorry," Said Adrian, "I know it's not the kind of thing you'd usually eat, but it was kind of last minute. I hope you don't mind too much."

I was already tearing open a sandwich. I tried to remember to eat slowly, and asked Adrian to hand me some water. He sat quietly; watching me until I felt I'd ate enough. I steered clear of the sweets, but allowed myself a bag of chips; old habits die hard. Once finished and the mess cleaned up, I excused myself to the bathroom.

I peered at myself in the mirror for a moment. My skin was pale and there were dark circles under my eyes. My hair was a mess and I ran my fingers through it, taming it as best I could. Adrian was right. There were burn marks on each side of my head, from the ECT machine. They were small and circular, but noticeable. They were hardly bad enough to need medical treatment, but they might leave scars. I hoped not.

I finished up in the bathroom, splashing water on my face and using a complimentary wash cloth to give myself a quick sponge bath. I felt a little more refreshed when I joined Adrian back in the room. He was searching through a duffel bag and pulled out a man's t shirt and sweats with a draw string and handed them to me.

"I thought you might want a shower." He explained, "I only have boxers though, so…"

He looked slightly embarrassed, and I couldn't help thinking how cute he was. I decided against the boxers, thinking I'd rather go without underwear all together then wear boxers or the underwear I wore now – which were going directly into the trash along with everything else I had on at the moment.

A shower was a great idea. It was soothing, and seemed to wash away all the terrible things I'd gone through the past week. I used the soap the motel provided and was happy when it actually had a pleasant smell. I wanted to stay in as long as I could, but more than that I wanted to hurry back to Adrian. So I shut off the water after only ten minutes, dried off and dressed in Adrian's oversized clothing. They were comfortable and smelled like him. It made me instantly more at ease.

"Okay," I said as I walked into the room and took a seat beside him, "I'm ready to talk."

"You don't have to tell me anything, Sydney. I just want to know that you're okay."

I sighed. "I'm not going to lie, Adrian. It was awful. Every moment of it was torture. But I think I'm okay."

"And those marks?" He said, nodding at the burns on my face, "And your wrists? Do you need anything for them? Some kind of ointment or something? Bandages?"

The lacerations around my wrists had bled quite a bit, but they weren't nearly as bad as I thought they'd be after the abuse I put them through trying to escape. They would definitely need some disinfectant and bandages though. The burn marks posed a problem however, or rather, the instrument that caused them posed the problem.

I nodded. "I will need something for my wrists. Some antibiotic ointment and gauze to bandage them. It probably wouldn't hurt to get something for the burns although a band aid on my face might look silly." I laughed, imagining it, "But, um, there is something you should know."

I paused to be sure I had his full attention. It wasn't necessary; I'd had his full attention from the beginning.

"The burns, they came from an ECT machine, or electroconvulsive machine. It's, um, it's used in electric shock therapy." I waited for my words to sink in before continuing, "That type of thing can have some bad side effects, like memory loss, for example. I don't think I lost any memories, but then I wouldn't really know. Anyway, it can affect memories that I had before the treatment and memories I have after as well. So…if it seems like I may have forgotten something, that's why."

"Wait a minute," he said, closing his eyes and rubbing his temples, "Are you saying they _electrocuted_ you?"

"More or less, yes."

He looked at me then. "Could you – did you – did you feel it?" He breathed.

I just looked at him, not saying a word. His face crumpled into a heart broken expression and he wrapped me in his arms.

"I'm so sorry. God I'm so sorry. If I'd just gotten there sooner. If I could've gotten to you sooner, maybe I could've saved you from that."

"It's not your fault Adrian. You're not to blame for any of this."

"It is my fault though. You wouldn't have been there if it wasn't for me." He was adamant in blaming himself, and I would have none of it.

I pushed him away from me and held his face in my hands.

"You listen to me. This was _not_ your fault. This was the result of many different things that lead to one conclusion. If anyone's to blame it's me for making the choices I made, but I don't regret it for a minute, and I never will. I'd do it all over again, even if it meant ending up in the same place. If anything, you saved me Adrian. Anytime something got too hard, I thought of you and it gave me strength. So please don't blame yourself."

I leaned my forehead against his. "I love you." I said.

"God, I love you too, Sydney."

We stayed that way for a while, content in each other's arms, before he got up.

"We need to get you those bandages. I'll have to run to the store. It's about a twenty minute drive, do you want to come with me, or would you rather wait here?"

"How far are we from where you found me?"

He smiled, looking proud. "Completely different state." He said.

I rewarded him with a smile of my own. It seems he'd thought of everything. "Okay, I will come then."

He seemed please and I knew I'd made the right choice. Sure, I was a little worried about being caught by some Alchemist search party, but this place seemed so remote that I doubted there was too high a risk going to the store for some quick supplies.

"So, where is your car?" I asked once we were buckled in and on the road.

He glanced at me side-long. "Back in Palm Springs. Don't worry, it's in good hands." He added quickly.

"And whose hands my that be?

"One Eddie Castile."

I'd trusted Eddie with Latte before, but the Mustang was a classic. I supposed it was safer with Eddie than anyone else there though, so I didn't push the matter.

"Whose car is this?" I asked.

"Actually, it's Abe's. I talked to Rose like you asked me to, and she decided you were right and stayed behind, but she still wanted to help however she could; said she owed you one, so she got us the car and some money. She said to let her know if we needed anything else and she'd get it for us."

I appreciated her help, but I felt better knowing she'd mostly kept her hands clean. "None of it can be traced back to either of them?"

"No. Abe made sure of that."

Of course he had. "Who were the other people with you? When you came to save me."

"Aside from Jackie, the others were people from her coven."

So that's how they'd pulled it off. Using all of their magic together, I can see how they'd have been able to break in and get me out of there as easily as they had.

"You didn't run into any trouble getting me out? I'm sorry I passed out on you. Honestly, I don't know how I made it as far as I did." I was kind of ashamed that I hadn't made it further. I was supposed to be the strong one. The one who fixed the problems, not created them.

"No. Jackie and her coven had it handled. Although they were almost as weak as you afterwards." He admitted.

It made me feel bad, and I wished I could thank all of them. It'd have to wait though, until I was free of the Alchemists. The thought hit me hard, like a kick in the stomach. I had to leave the Alchemists. I had no choice now. What was I going to do? How was I supposed to go on with my life and leave behind such a huge part of it? And what about my family? Would I ever see them again? And what about Adrian? He had a life back in Palm Springs. It may not have been one he'd chosen, but he was making the best of it. How could I ask him to uproot and run with me? Did I even _want_ to run? And then there was Jill. How would she fare without me? Who would protect her? Who would look out for her?

"What's wrong?" I looked up and noticed Adrian staring at me.

I looked at him, wondering where to start, what to say. "What am I supposed to do now?" I asked quietly, "It's not like I can just go back to being an Alchemist. And I don't want to live on the run like Marcus does. I can't. I just don't know what to do."

He reached over and took my hand in his, bringing it to his lips. He kissed the back of my hand then turned it over and did the same to my open palm. "We'll figure it out, Sydney. Together. You're not alone in this. You don't have to make a decision like this on your own. I'm here for you. Everyone is, even if they aren't physically here. There are people are your side, you know. People who care about you."

His words did make me feel a little better and I relaxed against the seat. "What about Jill? Is she okay? Who took my place?"

"Jill's fine. Worried about you, but fine. She has Eddie and Angeline, and Neil. She's plenty protected even without you there. You don't need to worry about her." He glanced at me, "As far as who took your place, well, it's more like who stepped up to fill in for you."

It took me a moment, but I was good at reading between the lines. "Zoe." It was the obvious choice. I didn't think she was ready for that kind of responsibility, not yet, but the Alchemists didn't seem to share my opinions. Of course they'd make her take my job. Why bother sending another Alchemist when there was already one there. And a daughter of Jared Sage at that.

"How is she doing?" I asked, "Does she seem overwhelmed?"

"You're asking the wrong person, Sage. I think she might be doing okay, but I was way too worried about you to pay much attention to anything else." He said apologetically, "Sorry." He added.

"No, no. It's okay. I understand. I'm sure she's doing fine, I just think she's still too young for so much responsibility."

We were silent for a moment. I watched in the side mirror as the sun set behind us, the sky a brilliant canvas of bright oranges and pinks. Purple streaked through in places, and it was so beautiful I thought Adrian could've painted the sun set in the sky himself. I pulled my attention from the mirror and back to him.

"So what's the plan then? How long are we going to be here?"

"Just a little while. Long enough for this to die down a bit, then we'll head back to Palm Springs. Someone in Jackie's coven has a place we can stay until we figure things out."

"Adrian, what about school?"

He smiled ruefully. "I don't think you need to go to school anymore, Sage."

I shook my head. "Not me. You. How do you justify being absent so much?"

"Ah." He grinned now. "Nothing a little help from Spirit won't fix." He meant to use compulsion to make people forget he hadn't attended school?

"Adrian-"

"Don't worry about it, Sage. I can handle it. Let's just focus on you for now, okay?"

We finally pulled into the parking lot of the small gas station and Adrian parked, shutting of the engine. "What we need to get an idea of is how long until we can move more freely. Taking a plane back to Palm Springs probably isn't a good idea either way. How soon before we could drive back undetected, you think?"

I thought about it for a minute, trying to decide what the Alchemists would do. In the end though, it's almost impossible to tell. "I don't know. If it was some regular person they were searching for, they might bide their time until the person thought it was safe, then move in, but they know me. In this situation it could go either way. They might wait and see what I do, or they might search and not stop searching until they run out of places to look. My father is pretty influential. If he has any say in it, they will search until I'm found then they'll drag me back."

I remembered my father's visit then. The things he'd said and how he'd acted. He didn't want me to be there in that awful place any more than I wanted to be there.

"On second thought, he might try to delay any action all together." I said.

"What do you mean? Why would _he_ want to delay your capture?" Adrian was surprised, and it showed.

I looked at the gas station, the clerk behind the counter staring at us through the glass front.

"Let's go get what we need and I will tell you all about it on the way back." I moved to open my door but Adrian caught my hand.

"Wait here. I'll run in. Do you need anything else?"

"No. Wait, yes. A toothbrush and a hair brush would be nice."

He grinned, "Too good to use mine, huh?" He gave me a quick kiss and stepped out of the car. It only took him a minute to return seeing as we were the only ones here. He pulled up to the gas pump and explained that we might as well fill up while we are here. I agreed.

"Okay," he said once we were back on the road, "You were saying about your dad." He prompted.

I tried to decide where to start, and not intending to, I somehow started from the very beginning. I told him every gruesome detail of my time spent in re-education, from the endless days of not being allowed to sleep, to the waterboarding; the Strigoi, my visit with my father and the electric shock, wrapping it all up in the hallway where I passed out in Adrian's arms.

Night had fallen but I was sure if there was light I'd see Adrian's knuckles white on the steering wheel. His posture was so rigid, I wanted to reach over and rub it out of him, make him relax.

"I should've killed him." He said, such anger in his voice it startled me, "I should've found him and fed him to the Strigoi or strung him up and broke every bone in his body." He was so angry I could see him shaking, even in the darkness.

"Pull over." I said, softly. I didn't know what I'd do, but I knew I needed to calm him down. Rather it was spirit getting to him or rather he was truly this angry, it didn't matter. I just didn't want him to be so upset about something he had no control over. And talking about killing someone sounded so wrong coming from his lips that it gave me the chills.

"What? Why?" He asked.

I put my hand over his on the steering wheel and gently removed it. He balled it into a fist though, and I began massaging it, trying to draw the tension out. "Just pull over."

He glanced at me and must have seen something in my face, because he slowed and pulled the car over, putting it in park. I wasted no time climbing over the center console and into his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him. I rubbed the tension from the base of his neck and ran my hands through his hair.

He gripped my waist with both hands, as they found their way beneath my shirt. His hands were hot against my skin leaving a trail of chill bumps wherever he touched me. Our kiss grew more and more heated, wanting and fervent. I needed to be closer to him, as I knew he needed to be closer to me. We weren't far from the motel now and I broke the kiss.

"Let's get back." I said, breathless. The heat in his eyes went further than any words ever could and when his eyes widened fractionally I knew he could see that I wanted him as much as he wanted me. He nodded and I climbed back into my own seat.

He looked at me, still breathing hard. "Are you sure?" He asked.

I smiled and nodded. And that was all the assurance he needed. He put the car in drive and sped off toward the motel. We made it there quickly, and forgetting the items we'd purchased in the back seat, we pushed our way through the door to our room, already working at getting each other's clothes off.

My shirt hit the floor, followed by his, and he laid me gently back onto the bed. I ran my hand down his chest, feeling the muscles there. Every inch of him seemed to be created in the image of some Greek God; he was glorious.

"God, you're so beautiful." He said. He kissed me from my lips, down my throat and all the way down to my navel, where he stopped and looked up at me.

"You're sure?" He asked again.

Instead of answering, I slipped the sweats off and discarded them onto the floor with the rest of the clothes. I felt my cheeks grow warm, but it didn't matter. I was nervous, yes, but it felt right being like this with him. He made me feel beautiful and comfortable and after the darkness of the past week, I yearned for some light. Adrian was my light, and I needed him now.

He removed the rest of his clothing, and held himself above me and between my legs.

"If you want to stop, just say so, and we can stop, okay? No matter what."

"Okay."

I raised myself up and kissed him, pulling him down to me. He positioned himself and paused.

"Ready?" He whispered.

"I'm ready." I said.

It hurt at first, but he remained gentle the whole time. We moved slowly together for a while, as I got used to the feeling of him, and when I started moving faster, he moved to match my pace. When he realized I was comfortable, he took the lead and thoroughly made passionate love to me. He whispered sweet words, and kept his lips on me nearly nonstop. His hands burned my skin wherever they touched me and it was one of the best feelings I'd ever had.

"I love you, Sydney." Adrian whispered against my collar bone.

The world around me faded and disappeared until all that remained was Adrian and his lips and his hands.

_A/N: So I feel like I should explain that the effects of the electric shock were exaggerated. As far as I know it doesn't actually have such a negative affect on people. However, I had to keep in mind that Sydney had only a mild sedative to help with the pain, and that's hardly enough to help in that situation. Also, throw in the things she'd been through prior to that and it would only make sense that any normal person's body would be traumatized. Right? Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter! More to come :) As always, reviews are cherished. Thanks for reading!_


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